Nobody Likes You When You're 23
by Agent Gibbs
Summary: Trigger and Avril commiserate about music and Trigger's flying style. One-shot. T rating for PG-13 language


_July 20, 2019_

Zapland was a shithole. That was never up for debate, especially not for the prisoners at said base. They did what they could to pass the time, and that included *Former* Captain Jason Briggs, Tac name "Trigger." At only 23, Briggs was an Academy grad, sent to Zapland for _allegedly_ killing former Osean President Vincent Harling.

His preferred method of passing time was music, specifically the Pop-Punk genre. None of the other pilots in Spare Squadron were educated in the genre, so Briggs spent most of his free time listening alone. Needless to say, he was quite surprised to hear one of his favorite songs playing in a hangar.

"_And it's happened once again_

_I'll turn to a friend_

_Someone that understands_

_Sees through the master plan_

_But everybody's gone_

_And I've been here for too long_

_To face this on my own, well I guess this is growing up_

_Well I guess this is growing up_"

He approached the hangar and looked around. Not seeing anybody, he turned the volume up as far as he could. Then he heard a voice from behind him.

"Who said you could touch my stereo, dumbass?"

Briggs froze. He knew the voice well. The Scrap Queen was known to have a bad temper. Slowly, he returned the volume to its original level and took his hand off the stereo.

"My bad," he said. "I recognized the song. Didn't think anyone else in this shitbox had good taste in music."

The Scrap Queen smirked. "You a blink fan too?"

Briggs nodded. "Of course. They were very influential during my formative years. I tuned out after they dropped _Neighborhoods_, though. Bad album."

"Yeah, same. I dig the _Bana_ record. _Bored to Death_ got me back into them."

"_Bana _is a banging album. Deluxe Edition especially." Briggs turned his head back to the aircraft in the hangar. He hadn't realized before, but it was his plane. Pointing back to it, he said, "So subject change here. How's my plane, almighty Scrap Queen?"

"Call me Avril," she replied, laughing. "Your plane's in rough shape. Why the hell did you fly through thunder clouds at full afterburn?"

"I was chasing an SU-30." Briggs sighed, remembering the battle. "The guy was good; I had to push past the envelope."

Avril nodded. "I'm surprised you didn't get him."

"Why?"

"Well, if the rumors are to be believed, you killed Harling-"

"I didn't kill him, for fuck's sake!" Briggs exclaimed, grabbing a wrench and throwing it across the hangar.

Avril looked up in shock and saw fire in Briggs' eyes. "So why are you here? If you didn't kill Harling, why did you get sent here?"

"They needed a fall guy. According to the AWACS in the area, the missile that killed Harling was a QAAM. My plane didn't carry that missile. I guess it's true what they say, then."

"Yeah? What do they say?"

Briggs cracked a smile. "Nobody likes you when you're 23."

Laughing, Avril replied, "Especially if you're more amused by prank phone calls."

Briggs laughed, turning back to his plane and examining the damage. "How bad is it?"

Avril approached the craft, shaking her head. "Well, your engines are almost fried because you were flying at _full burn_. Your electronics are shit because of the lightning. This pile of junk won't be able to fly for another week at least. You'd better pray that you don't have to fly for awhile."

Briggs scoffed. "Fat chance. McDickless has something for us in two days apparently."

Avril shook her head. "He's going to end up getting you guys killed one of these days. Just to stroke his ego."

"His ego isn't the only thing he's stroking. Not just his own, but maybe someone else's as well."

"Maybe some of the top brass?" Avril suggested.

Briggs roared with laughter. "I wouldn't doubt it. So is there anything around here I can fly until my Strike Eagle is ready?"

"Luckily for you, yes," Avril replied. "There's a Rafale around here that's primed and ready to fly."

"Nice. I think I've flown that one before."

"You only _think_?"

"Well, yeah. If I did, it was during training. Those folks at Heierlark are insane."

Before Avril could get her reply out, the PA system came to life. "_Attention, Spare Squadron! Report to briefing ASAP, convicts!_"

"I guess that's you," Avril said.

"Yeah, I guess so," Briggs replied. "Catch you later."

Briggs left the hangar, and Avril yelled out, "Hey, dumbass! Try not to get killed."

**_And scene! This is a one-shot, folks. I might do more down the line, but I had to get this one done._****_Also_****_, this story is exactly what happens when you listen to blink-182 while playing AC7._****_One_****_ last thing: "Bana" is the Strangereal name of blink's "California" album. (That album is a banger. You can't change my mind)_**

**_Anyway, leave a review. Follow me. All that jazz. Until next time, I bid you adieu. Goodbye... And good night. BANG!_**


End file.
